Nationwide: The Cinema of Future Films

By Alice

Only past movie. The power was stolen from the aliens who had it first. Told by the proud founder. Used to be a news place.

“It all started at that silly news place”

*Screen showing an old news building*.

I was working 9-8 and still being paid practically nothing.

*A picture of him when he was younger*

“But then! On one late shift, I saw something.”

*UFO*

“I saw a real-life UFO! So, the next day I swore to find it. And eventually I did. So immediately I boarded it, and it was… unimaginable. There was this… thing… but they were coming back so I grabbed it and rushed out and after a few years I harnessed its power. Boot this place and eventually turned it into this.”

All Saints Minster: The Ministry for Weather and Goodwill

By Aaminah

The Ministry for Weather and Goodwill is a mysterious place, with adventures coming round every corner. A thundercloud, sun, a raindrop and a snowball are set on top of a white painted, pristine and important structure. It brings Otherham together- with weather. Whether it be rain or shine there is one person who ALWAYS decided Otherham’s fate, and that is thunder.

The Ministry hates hail as a thief stole it off them. Someone, quiet, merciless, evil, cruel and jealous: Shadow. Thunder’s old partner friends’, even a couple if you think hard. Thinking hard, cunning is the one thing The Ministry doesn’t do. That’s why they let Thunder be in charge. Thunder is bossy grey-faced and stern.

“All of you get back to WORK!!!”

His angry, booming voice announced. You could hear it from the pavement ten metres away. Suddenly, the Earth shook, trees toppled over, and things came out of the sky. Shadow minifigures.

Shadow had arrived. Had Thunder rapidly left? The building smoke trailed behind him. “Hello old partner, back again?”

Shadow’s merciless voice boomed.

“Just stop!”

“Why Thunder, why?”

“We’ll be friends again; I’ll give you control.”

“No wait, dragon.”

Shadow said. And that’s when things went downhill, fast.

Holy Ghost Tattoo: The Otherham Chronicle

By Hibba

THE MOLE

Hello. I am reporting live from the Otherham Chronicle, and I will repeat there is a mole. Earlier in the morning of the 190th of September, the identity of a spy was revealed. Man-Less Chester has received several charges regarding this extreme break-through in the history of news. Blanche White, a member from our research department has been with us since February and had several previous jobs on her CV with prestigious news companies such as The Daily Pain, and The Moon.

At approximately 12.21 Blanche left early and revealed her true job upon her computer. “Blanche White also seemed a bit off. Too nice to be true.”

These are the words of former colleague, Fergus Small,

“Being a swarf, it’s a whole other world above, but Blanche revealed what it was really like”

“I am living a lie”.

Read the next issue for more.

FIRST PIXIE & GIANT WEDDING

Former rapper Biggie Talles and Alesha Pixton have announced their engagement after Biggie got down on one knee to propose whilst they were staying at Hotel Transylvania. Count Dracula also said in his response to the proposal,

“Ironically I have never seen a couple more right for each other than these 2 beings!”

The big surprise was reportedly seen by Trollie Lava (country singer) who kept the ring for safekeeping. All the fans are extremely happy to see the two rejoice in happiness and holy matrimony. All preparations for the big wedding in July at the Grand G & C. Grimm & Co’s wedding suite is also being designed by young entrepreneur Stacey Rockomon. And is back in the studio.

“Thanks Ana.”

Read on to find out about Little Trix’s threat to break up.

LITTLE TRIX THREATEN TO BREAK UP

The Bright Ideas Mining Company Inc.

By Nico

In Otherham, there is one building quite hidden away. On the outside there’s lots of bushes and plants covering the windows to keep the secret in. When you walk through the door the ground feels like a bouncy castle, the building jumps with joy at all the imagination being brought up. One day The Rainbow Lion found out that children had been stealing all the imagination he had worked hard to mine.

“Why are they stealing my magic!? Why, oh why, oh why?”

The lion shouted. He stamped his feet and yelled loud.

“I’M GOING TO CUT THEIR HAIR; THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WEAR RAINBOW DYE ANYMORE!”

The lion was so angry he called a meeting with all the children and said, “If you don’t give back the imagination, I’m going to stop you all from expressing yourselves!”

All the children gasped and cried

“Nooooo!”

The hall was silent while they debated whether to give it back or not ….

Nationwide: The Cinema of Future Films

By Viera, Kate and Zora

Dear Dragons of Otherham,

This is a public letter from me, the building, that contains The Otherham Chronicle Cinema of future films.

Please, please, please stop scorching the back of my chairs when you let out fire from your noses when you laugh at funny films.

It is not funny!

Also, snacks of live sheep are not permitted. Popcorn and nachos are the only foods allowed during screenings. My friends, all the other buildings in Otherham, are Standing by Me and have agreed that unless the rude and disrespectful behaviour of the dragons stops, the dragons will be banned from all buildings.

We cannot risk the cinema being blown up or set on fire. Also, the Mice have complained that the dragons are blocking the view of the cinema screen with their wings. Please be aware that in future, dragons will be only allowed to purchase back row seats.

We also want to highlight the importance of ensuring that you DO NOT invite the pixies to the late Wednesday night Showings at The Cinema for Future Films.

Despite numerous warnings they still insist on doing a conga line right in the middle of the screening is the front of the screen!

This is not acceptable!