Illustrated text of the word, Feastery, with decorative leaves.

Please place your order and pay at the counter, then take a seat and relax with our story themed activities.  There will also be daily specials and homemade cakes available on the counter.  Your food and drinks will be brought to your table.

We cannot guarantee our kitchen is free from allergens.
Key for allergens: ‘V’ vegetarian, ‘Ve’ vegan, ‘GF’ Gluten Free, ‘N’ contains nuts.

By dining with us today, you are supporting our charity’s work and enabling us to change lives, one story at a time. Thank you.

Photograph of a luxurious coffee cake, with a sign that reads "Darkwoods vegan coffee cake! £4.25. Contains nuts". There are some bags of Darkwoods coffee in the background.

Mortal Menu

Hot Drinks

Americano £3
Espresso £2.90
Latte £3.40
Cappuccino £3.40
Flat white £3.40
Cortado £3.20
Mocha £3.70

Darkwoods dark hot chocolate £3.70
Milk hot chocolate (not Darkwoods) £3.40
+ Deluxe option (marshmallows/cream/sprinkles)  +50p

Teapigs Everyday brew/decaf brew £2.50
Speciality Teapigs Teas – see counter £3.00
Tea for Two (Everyday/Speciality) £3.50/£4.00
Fresh mint tea with honey or maple syrup £3.00
Chai latte £3.15
Rov’rum Fog – Earl Gray, vanilla syrup and steamed oat milk £3.20
Babyccino £1.00

Decaf coffee, alternative milk, cream and flavoured syrups are also available (+50p for syrups)

Cold Drinks

Cawston press fruit waters £2.40
Cawston press sparkling cans £3.25
Fruit shoots £1.25
Sparkling water/Still water £1.20
Curiosity cola (Fentimans) £3.40
Victorian lemonade (Fentimans) £3.40
Glass of milk S/L £0.50/£0.75
Glass of fruit juice S/L £0.50/£0.75

Hot Food – Served 10am to 3pm

Rarebit sourdough toast – with pickled shallots.  £8.50

Sourdough toast. GF option available. Served with butter and jam/
almond butter/marmalade/marmite. VE. £7.50

Bacon Butty – smoked bacon served on a soft sub roll. £6.50.

French Toast Crumpet Stack – Served with almond butter, vegan yogurt,
banana, maple syrup.  VE. £7.50

Baked Eggs (Shakshuka) – served with feta, herb yogurt, focaccia.
This may take a little longer to arrive. V.  £10.50

Yoghurt and Granola with fruit compote (can be vegan).  £5.50

Sausage roll – served warm with crisps, red onion marmalade and side
salad as a meal.  £6.45 (£7.95 for the meal)

Indian dahl roll – vegan roll, served warm with crisps, mango chutney and
side salad as a meal.  VE.  £6.45 (£7.95)

Invisible rarebit (food for thought – this is a donation which helps to
change lives one story at a time.)  £5.00

BLT sandwich – served with crisps and a side salad as a meal. Dairy free. £8.50

Coronation chickpea sandwich – served with crisps and a side salad as a meal. VE. £8.50

Cheese and chutney sandwich – served with crisps and a side salad as a meal.  £8.50

Ham and cheese toastie – served with crisps and a side salad as a meal. £8.50

Pesto and cheese toastie. Vegan option available. Served with crisps and a
side salad as a meal.  £8.00

Pasta bake – adults – served in a skillet with pangrattato crumb topping and
cheese.  V. £8.00

Mini-Mortals Menu:

Tomato pasta – served with grated cheese. V.  £4.00

Chocolate and banana toastie V. £3.00

Cheese toastie V. £3.00

Child’s sandwich – with cheese, jam, chocolate spread or marmalade V. £2.50

Magical Menu

Hot Drinks

Boiled magic bean juice to liven the senses. May cause gentle awakeness and an urge to hop for 5 seconds.  £3.00
Condensed magic bean juice, causing instant awakeness, lasting up to 2 hours (the blink of a eye in other realms).  £2.90
Magic bean juice with the milk of human kindness. A comforting warm glow may radiate from your ears. £3.40
Magic bean juice with frothy overtones. May cause a sudden urge to open a delicatessen in Doncaster. £3.40
Magic bean juice with stiff and sturdy froth. May cause instant desire to wear low-rise flares and grow a beard.  £3.40
Magic bean juice cut with steamed milk of human kindness. Beware of flamenco dancing.  £3.20
A blend of two kinds of magic beans with milk from a cocoa fountain. Watch out for curly toes. £3.70

Minotaur hoof mud. May cause spontaneous mooing (usually mid-sentence).  £3.70
Mud off a mermaid’s dance floor. Warning – beware of flossing (the dancing variety), effective immediately. £3.40

Graham Grimm’s Glorious Gulp. Side effect: Only able to speak using alliteration.  £2.50
Griffin’s Glugs – may cause talking in rhyme, all of the time £3.00
Griselda’s Guzzle – Constant cackling in a Yorkshire accent. £3.50/£4.00
Questfinder’s Quench – causes impulsive puzzling £3.00
Bohemian’s Beverage. May cause spontaneous wandering £3.15
A breathe of fresh air containing foragings from the Forest of Enchantment and everlasting fabulousness.  £3.20
A fairy’s hot tub from far-far away. £1.00

Milks with extra human kindness also available, although these may cause allotment envy.

Cold Drinks

A drop from the fountain of funny jokes. Beware of impromptu telling of bad jokes.  £2.40
A drop from the fountain of love stories. May cause an itch to write romantic novels.  £3.25
Bottled good behaviour, may contain newts Causes sudden tidyness and persistent punctuality. £1.25
A quench of creativity from the Source, giving a wide and bountiful imagination. £1.20
Sorceror’s Snort. Beware a weakness for tall hats. £3.40
Superhero Sip. May cause a compulsion for cape and eye mask wearing. £3.40

A drop from the fountain of mysteries, leading to an obsession for escape rooms. £0.50/0.75
Bottled distilled happiness, may contain saliva from a fairy kiss, causing infectious smiling and happy dreams. £0.50/0.75

Hot Food – Served 10am to 3pm

The curse of Cawthorne – forces the eater to speak forever with a posh Barnsley accent.  £8.50

A Cutting remark. Beware of persistent telling of knock-knock jokes. £7.50

Doom and Gloom remedy. Contains excessive optimism. £3.50

A drizzle of awe and wonder. Made with the spark of a magic moment, but may cause the loss of ability to say the word ‘boring’. £6.50

Wise cracks and wittyisms. May cause uncontrollable laughter. Do not operate a hot cauldron within 46 seconds of consumption. £7.50

Made from shavings of dried humour. May cause intermittent growling. £5.50

The sausage of sarcasm. Made from the tail of a dark horse. £6.45

A snug bug in a roll.  Spiced with life.  May create tastebud euphoria. £6.45

Legend in your lunchtime. May cause eating in your sleep. £5.00

A bolt of bravery. Made with the twinkling of an eyeball and shavings from a knight’s leather boot. £8.50

A Right Royal Adventure.  May cause waving from the wrist to passers-by and strangers. £8.50

Side splitting Slapstick. Contains grilled legs from a ticklish centipede. £8.50

Timeless Toasted Temporary Tongue Twister. £8.50

Toasted Travels. Seasoned with salt from the tears of a lost adventurer. May cause unexpected yodelling. £8.00

Euphoria. May cause a compulsion to read everything in search of unnecessary commas,,, £8.00

Mini-Mortals Menu

The Plot Thickens. Stories in a bowl, made with strange characters, unbelievable settings and the potential for a cliffhanger crouton. £4.00

Tooth fairy delight. Made from shaggy dog stories and bricks from an estate in candytown. £3.00

Suspension of disbelief – made from writers’ tears of joy. £3.00

Sunny disposition. Made with the beam of a ray of sunshine and a drop of rain. £2.50

Hot Food served from 10am to 3pm.

Smaller portions and Gluten free/Vegan options are available on request.